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Are You A Control Freak

Sarah Kimbrell • January 24, 2025

Do you find yourself unable to relax if your surroundings aren't just how you want them?


Perhaps you feel a certain level of anxiety when the house isn't perfectly clean, or the weather isn't a perfect 70 and sunny, or you refuse to go to a certain place because the environment isn't consistently how you want it.


If reading this has you feeling like you might relate, stay with me!


Typically, this is noted as a codependency on an external locus of control as a result of lacking an internal locus of control.


This means a person is codependent on their environment to make them feel regulated (controlling people, places, or things) because they can not regulate themselves internally (mentally and emotionally).


So it sounds like this: "I couldn't get my groceries today because the grocery store was too busy and it was so hot outside today, so I stayed home and scrolled social media instead."


Or: "He kept interrupting me so I lost my cool and went off on him. I know I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it."


Or maybe it even sounds like this: "Ah the weather was perfect today and I was so productive and in such a great mood."


The goal is to be able to regulate yourself internally, regardless of any external factors, so that you're not easily sent into spiraling excuses of why your external factors are stopping you from living your best life.


Reach out to The Wellness Armory if you're interested in learning more about the practice of self regulation. support@thewellnessarmory.org

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